Joe

Liz: I want to get this Farm Fresh special with the buy-one-get-one bag of apples. Maybe 6 pounds of apples would finally be enough
Joe: Maybe you could get Colonel Aengus
Joe: [pause just a fraction of a second too long]
Joe: To make us an apple tart
Liz: I'm really glad that sentence didn't end before you said "apple tart."
Desk: [Awkard silence]
Felicia: Bwa ha ha ha ha!

Joe

Joe: This painting is called "In the Bush." Heh heh.
Felicia: Joe needs the Nasty Card.
Joe: I wasn't trying to be dirty. I just think bushes are funny.

Liz

Joe: XXX's out breaking her annual bone.
Pearl: Lol. I noticed that, too.
Liz: Oh, Joe. I've got some good annual bone jokes I'm sitting on ... Oh, wait ... whoops!
Joe: That goes on the Nasty blog.

Andi (her first!)

Liz: Is xxx inspecting his empire?
Dee: Yeah, he always does that on days he wears blue jeans. Did you ever notice that?
Liz: Frankly, no, I don't think I've ever looked at him from the waist down.
(beat ... beat ... beat)
Andi: Bwah ha ha ha ha ha! (Turns red)

Joe

Joe: Here look. Ginger chamomile.
Felicia: Mmmm.
Joe: Let me give you one because you're always giving me tea bags.
Felicia:
Joe: Oh, boy. Here we are teabagging over here.
Felicia:
Felicia: [Hands Joe the nasty card]

Liz

Joe: Hey guys, I'm really cold.
Felicia: Would you like to borrow my sweater?
Liz: Would you like to borrow my heater?
Joe: No, thanks. Those things make me too hot.
Liz: Would you like to borrow my jacket?
Joe: No ... I have hairy arms.
Liz: (looks across desk to verify hairiness) Or, hey you could just roll down your sleeves you big pussy.
Joe: No, I, because ... wait, what did you call me?

Liz

Joe: Could someone put their peepers on this page?
Felicia: I don't know about all that.
Liz: I thought only boys had peepers.
Joe: Look who's back? (chucks Nasty Card)

Amber

Liz: I have to leave early to meet my chemistry professor before class.
Amber: Bow-chicka-bow-wow.

Joe

Felicia: I really hurt my arm. I hope it's not broken.
Liz: I wonder if I broke a bone in my foot. I banged it like a month ago. It still hurts.
Joe: What did you do to your foot?
Liz: I banged it.
Joe:
Liz: What???
(Nasty card sails toward Joe's head.)

Suzanne

Joe: Ben & Jerry's is changing Chubby Hubby to Hubby Hubby to celebrate the legalization of gay marriage in Vermont.
Liz: (clap clap clap)
Suzanne: Wait, what?
Liz: It was Chubby Hubby, now it's Hubby Hubby
Suzanne: If it were Hubby Chubby, that would be bad!
Desk: LOL!
Liz: Bad as in awesome!
Joe: Baaaaaaaad.